Today we celebrated Christmas in the hostel. It was fun in some way..
I don’t know.
I’ve forgotten what it is to be guilelessly happy.
Carefree. Just plain happy. In the moment.
I cannot remember the last time I’ve been happy with all my heart and soul.
Have I forgotten a part of life?
Have I forgotten a part of me in some distant past?
Have I forgotten how to live and smile and care and feel??
Have I forgotten?
I just feel empty on the inside at times.
Insipid. Uninspired. Indifferent.
That wasn’t me.
Where did I go?
Where did I lose myself?
Where did I hide it so safe that I can’t retrieve it back?
Where is the real me?
What is it to live life to the fullest?
What is it to give your all into something you believe in?
What is it to love someone madly, passionately?
What is it to lose yourself in something you know will break you someday?
What is it to be deliriously happy?
What is it?
Have I forgotten?
Or have I never known?
sumtime b4 christmas actually was-- hostel celebrations.. '06
christmastime's been always like this for me...
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